And on the 8th day God created Seniors. Now most seniors never get enough exercise.
In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys, & other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down & saw that it was good.
Then God saw there was another need.
In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, & stretch. And God looked down & saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders & decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.
So if you find, as you age, you are getting up & down more, remember that's the way God designed us. It's in your best interests, even though you mutter under your breath.
Here are some important facts to remember as we grow older:
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have just two motivations: hunger & hanky-panky, & they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish & you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet & they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, & people take Prozac to make it normal.
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks, bankers, and lawyers at a distance.
Forgive your enemies. it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys, & other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down & saw that it was good.
Then God saw there was another need.
In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, & stretch. And God looked down & saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders & decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.
So if you find, as you age, you are getting up & down more, remember that's the way God designed us. It's in your best interests, even though you mutter under your breath.
Here are some important facts to remember as we grow older:
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have just two motivations: hunger & hanky-panky, & they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish & you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet & they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, & people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks, bankers, and lawyers at a distance.
Forgive your enemies. it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
