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Losing my dad

belladonna

belladonna

Hellcat
I've probably mentioned here before that my family is spread out across the US and Canada. It's been that way for many, many years. I have always been the one to travel for visits, and I don't regret it in the least. I just got off the phone with my sister (in FL). My stepmother has been in the hospital since Tuesday. She has renal failure and is not expected to hang on much longer. I tried to talk to my dad on the phone...he didn't know who I was. We used to have Skype dates every Wednesday when I worked at my other job. I was the only kid who called him back then. He doesn't know me anymore.

I am struggling with whether or not to post this, but I just have to get it out. I'm okay, but it's hurting in waves. I have never lost a parent before. My sister doesn't think he will hang on very long after my stepmother passes. I can't just go right now. Sister understands, but she is dealing with so much...at least I can be her sounding board.

Sorry for the sob story, but if I am a little off or inconsistent, this is part of it.
 
belladonna said:
I've probably mentioned here before that my family is spread out across the US and Canada. It's been that way for many, many years. I have always been the one to travel for visits, and I don't regret it in the least. I just got off the phone with my sister (in FL). My stepmother has been in the hospital since Tuesday. She has renal failure and is not expected to hang on much longer. I tried to talk to my dad on the phone...he didn't know who I was. We used to have Skype dates every Wednesday when I worked at my other job. I was the only kid who called him back then. He doesn't know me anymore.

I am struggling with whether or not to post this, but I just have to get it out. I'm okay, but it's hurting in waves. I have never lost a parent before. My sister doesn't think he will hang on very long after my stepmother passes. I can't just go right now. Sister understands, but she is dealing with so much...at least I can be her sounding board.

Sorry for the sob story, but if I am a little off or inconsistent, this is part of it.
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I offer my most sincere condolences
 
With all of the sincerity that I that I have, I wish you peace and resolution in your journey friend. Nothing is more painful than the loss of one you love, especially a parent.. Try not to dwell on the unsaid word. Instead dwell on the memories of better times. GOD BLESS
 
It was as such with my lovely Mother. Dementia can be the most cruel, the most insidious of all thieves. Only we who have witnessed it with one so dear can truly understand. I understand; our prayers for sustenance and love are yours.
 
belladonna said:
I've probably mentioned here before that my family is spread out across the US and Canada. It's been that way for many, many years. I have always been the one to travel for visits, and I don't regret it in the least. I just got off the phone with my sister (in FL). My stepmother has been in the hospital since Tuesday. She has renal failure and is not expected to hang on much longer. I tried to talk to my dad on the phone...he didn't know who I was. We used to have Skype dates every Wednesday when I worked at my other job. I was the only kid who called him back then. He doesn't know me anymore.

I am struggling with whether or not to post this, but I just have to get it out. I'm okay, but it's hurting in waves. I have never lost a parent before. My sister doesn't think he will hang on very long after my stepmother passes. I can't just go right now. Sister understands, but she is dealing with so much...at least I can be her sounding board.

Sorry for the sob story, but if I am a little off or inconsistent, this is part of it.
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear Belle. :(

My father is in the grips of dementia as well. It's difficult to see him like that.
 
Sorry to hear about your dad. This is the part of life that honestly sucks and there is really nothing you can do about it. Just remember the good times you had with him and realize it's just another part of life that you have no control of. Hopefully those memories will give you peace and comfort.
 
belladonna said:
I've probably mentioned here before that my family is spread out across the US and Canada. It's been that way for many, many years. I have always been the one to travel for visits, and I don't regret it in the least. I just got off the phone with my sister (in FL). My stepmother has been in the hospital since Tuesday. She has renal failure and is not expected to hang on much longer. I tried to talk to my dad on the phone...he didn't know who I was. We used to have Skype dates every Wednesday when I worked at my other job. I was the only kid who called him back then. He doesn't know me anymore.

I am struggling with whether or not to post this, but I just have to get it out. I'm okay, but it's hurting in waves. I have never lost a parent before. My sister doesn't think he will hang on very long after my stepmother passes. I can't just go right now. Sister understands, but she is dealing with so much...at least I can be her sounding board.

Sorry for the sob story, but if I am a little off or inconsistent, this is part of it.
Click to expand...
i feel your pain, i really do. when i lost my dad, it was a blow to the gut...same with mom.

i have mentioned many times why it is impossible for me and the wife to move, and family is one of the many reasons.

all i can do is keep your dad and stepmom and you in my prayers...

many more things can be said, however, due to cultural, and ethnic reasons, and regional differences, what i may say to one of my family, would be fully understood, it may be taken totally out of context elsewhere in this country.

so please understand that, and God Bless everyone.
 
My thoughts and prayers are with you . I know this is a tough time for you but you will never forget the great times you had together with your mom and your dad. Hang tough.

By the way , I can't speak for all the other folks on this forum but I bet they feel the same , You vent anytime you need to. Don't keep it bottled up.
 
Bella- it is not a sob story. It is a part of life. We’ve all gone through something like this, or will in the future. We’re here if you you need to spout off or just to know that there are people that care.
I pray for peaceful outcomes and calm in your lives. Stay well.
 
belladonna said:
I've probably mentioned here before that my family is spread out across the US and Canada. It's been that way for many, many years. I have always been the one to travel for visits, and I don't regret it in the least. I just got off the phone with my sister (in FL). My stepmother has been in the hospital since Tuesday. She has renal failure and is not expected to hang on much longer. I tried to talk to my dad on the phone...he didn't know who I was. We used to have Skype dates every Wednesday when I worked at my other job. I was the only kid who called him back then. He doesn't know me anymore.

I am struggling with whether or not to post this, but I just have to get it out. I'm okay, but it's hurting in waves. I have never lost a parent before. My sister doesn't think he will hang on very long after my stepmother passes. I can't just go right now. Sister understands, but she is dealing with so much...at least I can be her sounding board.

Sorry for the sob story, but if I am a little off or inconsistent, this is part of it.
Click to expand...
You know Bella, I feel this a lot... as a military person, then other gov stuff, I have been on the road for 30 years. I have missed weddings and funerals and dealt with a death when I was in a location I could not leave; and all sorts of little things in between. Currently I have a parental situation sort of like you have, I am in the process of losing a parent. I do not think there is any right answer, or any good answer, there is only moving forward and putting one foot in front of the other. You will be strong because that is what you are, even in sorrow or pain, you will be strong. I dont have any other super cool words... Just know you are strong and will be okay.
Also hit me up if you need to talk.
 
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