You can have the slide milled to fit an optic, the link is the service that I used to have my XD-M .45 ACP slide milled. Its exactly like the Factory Optics Cut.
powderriverprecision.com
The best value RDS I have is the Vortex Venom, I have found it on sale for as little as $169. There are others like Sightmark, I just haven't tried them.
My favorite at the moment is the EOTECH EFLX, it costs less than the Deltapoint Pro or the RMR2. Especially if you can get the military/LE discount, its the cheapest direct from EOTECH with that discount.
RMR is the most rugged, and likely the best in the harshest environment, although the EOTECH is sealed, while the others are not, a drop of rain falls in the emitter the sight will be down until it dries out. The EOTECH it shouldn't be a problem, it can even be immersed in water.
The Deltapoint Pro, is pretty bulky, might get in the way with EDC, well more so than the other smaller sights. EOTECH's window is as large as the DPP, but smaller overall. The RMR and Vortex are smaller than the EOTECH though.
The DPP is is also large enough that co-witness/back-up iron sights are going to be difficult. The EOTECH is a little better, but the Trijicon Suppressor Height sights still can peer over it. I called SA Customer Service and they sent me the optic height sights for the XD-M, not sure if they work with the XD9, but I suspect they will. The SA OEM optic height sights will give a great sight picture through the RMR and Vortex, I'm about to install them on my XD-M Elite with the EOTECH, which they look like I'll just be able to the top of the sights through the RDS. The DPP, you'll likely won't be able to see over the RDS with the SA Optic Height sights. You'd likely have to have a custom front sight made, then you could use the Leupold rear sight that attaches to the DPP.