testtest

A little help in confusing times..,

TidalWave

TidalWave

Professional
Dunno how many of you grew up with Peanuts. I did, from the color Sunday paper comics to the Halloween tv special. I even had a pair of beagles..
Here is some peace for you. Don’t let others’ issues worry you to death!

1641502205001.png
 
Last edited:
i have been slowing down to a near crawl when dealing with people, let's face it, you get all worked up, arguing with someone, and they never straighten out.

so at my age, why bother, dealing with morons...??

but when i was younger, i'd go toe to toe.....


now it's like...move on moron, you are an insignificant "thing", in my world.
 
That's a good one to remember. I had a breakdown this summer because I took on too much stuff for too many people. I felt it was my duty since a lot of friends and family saw their lives fall apart where mine actually improved, so I took down my boundaries and decided to help them in any way, including talking two down from suicide and following up with them to keep them above ground. Eventually it worn me down to where I wasn't functioning very well myself. It took several months to get my own head back on track. Definitely, make sure to prioritize your own health and wellness. That was a hard lesson learned.
 
Old_Me said:
i have been slowing down to a near crawl when dealing with people, let's face it, you get all worked up, arguing with someone, and they never straighten out.

so at my age, why bother, dealing with morons...??

but when i was younger, i'd go toe to toe.....


now it's like...move on moron, you are an insignificant "thing", in my world.
Click to expand...
Here's your sign.
 
benstt said:
That's a good one to remember. I had a breakdown this summer because I took on too much stuff for too many people. I felt it was my duty since a lot of friends and family saw their lives fall apart where mine actually improved, so I took down my boundaries and decided to help them in any way, including talking two down from suicide and following up with them to keep them above ground. Eventually it worn me down to where I wasn't functioning very well myself. It took several months to get my own head back on track. Definitely, make sure to prioritize your own health and wellness. That was a hard lesson learned.
Click to expand...
Thank you ben, and the others who commented/approved :)

Yeah, there was something similar in my life driving me to post that message, which kinda miraculously appeared on something else I follow online..
Reason for it: my stepmom’s son - i cringe to call him my young stepbrother - is married to a fellow-lowlife-gal. Its his second time round and he’s had kids both times. (We never see the first set of kids, they’re grown and long disappeared). Anyway, turns out his wife crashed his truck with their three pre-adolescent kids in it. About 1-2 mi from their rental house. Tore into that resident’s car and then crashed into their tree (see pic). Wife’s own car had repo’d for non-payment, etc etc etc. so she’s running around in his truck while he’s in his company van.
Long story but she was charged with DWI - driving while impaired. Dunno if it was alcohol, meds, or illegal drugs ( her sister & her husband up the road from them are druggies; so’s her mom. I don’t know them)…. Because of the DWI and the kids, dept of social services DSS was called in.

The issue is, despite his job ($60k+ per yr; rather good for the locality) they’re always tight. Continually needing my dads help with $ for this or that mess. She won’t work due to an ankle injury (I’ve seen it - and it is bad - and legit) but always refused to apply for any disability (“ it’s too much trouble “)… Dad is 82, has always been sort of an ‘establishment’ type guy, very moral, conservative etc etc. But he also has a soft spot for his wife’s son and wants him to straighten himself out, get cleaned up, act right and disassociate from lowlifes he runs with.
Upshot of it all now is, dad & stepmom have run down 60 miles to get the kids “for a few days” since DSS says they can’t be alone with their mom for the time being. and I’m seeing the sob stories coming already. My kid sister - very squared away career gal and the youngest of us 3 - sees it as i do, and we know dad’ll be worrying himself over THEIR dilemma. He professes to hate doing it but won’t quit. It’s kinda an OCD thing with him- straitening that guy out. He’s been trying to do it since the guy was 5 yrs old when dad married again and ‘adopted’ him. And it’s been a failure from day one.
So dad is soon to be out no telling how much $ for lawyers, mandatory substance abuse treatment, etc etc.
And me & my sis will likely end up calling local DSS to get the kids out of my elderly dad’s house (they are in no way set up for extended stay for these 6, 10 & 12 yr olds).

Anywho….we are going to try to limit dad’s involvement with this long-built-up dam that finally burst.
I’m going to use that little poster when I talk to dad. He needs to see that those two AGE 50 & 40 ADULTS need to work their own issues. Period. I don’t mean any harm to those two, but getting bailed out of everything at that age smacks of elder abuse. Or whatever it’s called 🤨.
Hard to teach an 80 yr old dog new tricks, though. 😖

Sorry to vent, but here’s as good a place as any I guess.
See pic of wreck.
DE8681E5-6127-4594-AF08-31FE1030DE85.jpeg
 
benstt said:
That's a good one to remember. I had a breakdown this summer because I took on too much stuff for too many people. I felt it was my duty since a lot of friends and family saw their lives fall apart where mine actually improved, so I took down my boundaries and decided to help them in any way, including talking two down from suicide and following up with them to keep them above ground. Eventually it worn me down to where I wasn't functioning very well myself. It took several months to get my own head back on track. Definitely, make sure to prioritize your own health and wellness. That was a hard lesson learned.
Click to expand...
Good to hear you are coming out on the other side.
 
TidalWave said:
Thank you ben, and the others who commented/approved :)

Yeah, there was something similar in my life driving me to post that message, which kinda miraculously appeared on something else I follow online..
Reason for it: my stepmom’s son - i cringe to call him my young stepbrother - is married to a fellow-lowlife-gal. Its his second time round and he’s had kids both times. (We never see the first set of kids, they’re grown and long disappeared). Anyway, turns out his wife crashed his truck with their three pre-adolescent kids in it. About 1-2 mi from their rental house. Tore into that resident’s car and then crashed into their tree (see pic). Wife’s own car had repo’d for non-payment, etc etc etc. so she’s running around in his truck while he’s in his company van.
Long story but she was charged with DWI - driving while impaired. Dunno if it was alcohol, meds, or illegal drugs ( her sister & her husband up the road from them are druggies; so’s her mom. I don’t know them)…. Because of the DWI and the kids, dept of social services DSS was called in.

The issue is, despite his job ($60k+ per yr; rather good for the locality) they’re always tight. Continually needing my dads help with $ for this or that mess. She won’t work due to an ankle injury (I’ve seen it - and it is bad - and legit) but always refused to apply for any disability (“ it’s too much trouble “)… Dad is 82, has always been sort of an ‘establishment’ type guy, very moral, conservative etc etc. But he also has a soft spot for his wife’s son and wants him to straighten himself out, get cleaned up, act right and disassociate from lowlifes he runs with.
Upshot of it all now is, dad & stepmom have run down 60 miles to get the kids “for a few days” since DSS says they can’t be alone with their mom for the time being. and I’m seeing the sob stories coming already. My kid sister - very squared away career gal and the youngest of us 3 - sees it as i do, and we know dad’ll be worrying himself over THEIR dilemma. He professes to hate doing it but won’t quit. It’s kinda an OCD thing with him- straitening that guy out. He’s been trying to do it since the guy was 5 yrs old when dad married again and ‘adopted’ him. And it’s been a failure from day one.
So dad is soon to be out no telling how much $ for lawyers, mandatory substance abuse treatment, etc etc.
And me & my sis will likely end up calling local DSS to get the kids out of my elderly dad’s house (they are in no way set up for extended stay for these 6, 10 & 12 yr olds).

Anywho….we are going to try to limit dad’s involvement with this long-built-up dam that finally burst.
I’m going to use that little poster when I talk to dad. He needs to see that those two AGE 50 & 40 ADULTS need to work their own issues. Period. I don’t mean any harm to those two, but getting bailed out of everything at that age smacks of elder abuse. Or whatever it’s called 🤨.
Hard to teach an 80 yr old dog new tricks, though. 😖

Sorry to vent, but here’s as good a place as any I guess.
See pic of wreck. View attachment 23905
Click to expand...
All you can do is your best. You cannot help someone who does not want to change.

Take time to breathe, and take care of yourself too.
 
Last edited:
benstt said:
That's a good one to remember. I had a breakdown this summer because I took on too much stuff for too many people. I felt it was my duty since a lot of friends and family saw their lives fall apart where mine actually improved, so I took down my boundaries and decided to help them in any way, including talking two down from suicide and following up with them to keep them above ground. Eventually it worn me down to where I wasn't functioning very well myself. It took several months to get my own head back on track. Definitely, make sure to prioritize your own health and wellness. That was a hard lesson learned.
Click to expand...
And yet you post on this forum? Sanity doesn't live here!
 
Dang son, sorry to hear all this. Hope it works out the best for all involved. Your hardest job will be to convince dad that as long as he is enabling them to continue their current lifestyle, they will never have any reason to change.

Dad must be convinced that in order for them to accept change, they must see a real reason to change, and he must come to understand he's the reason they see no need to change. Sometimes it ain't real pretty by the time they see the need, but it's the absolute only way.

And everyone suffers until he (dad) sees and understands that.

All the best !!!
 
TidalWave said:
Thank you ben, and the others who commented/approved :)

Yeah, there was something similar in my life driving me to post that message, which kinda miraculously appeared on something else I follow online..
Reason for it: my stepmom’s son - i cringe to call him my young stepbrother - is married to a fellow-lowlife-gal. Its his second time round and he’s had kids both times. (We never see the first set of kids, they’re grown and long disappeared). Anyway, turns out his wife crashed his truck with their three pre-adolescent kids in it. About 1-2 mi from their rental house. Tore into that resident’s car and then crashed into their tree (see pic). Wife’s own car had repo’d for non-payment, etc etc etc. so she’s running around in his truck while he’s in his company van.
Long story but she was charged with DWI - driving while impaired. Dunno if it was alcohol, meds, or illegal drugs ( her sister & her husband up the road from them are druggies; so’s her mom. I don’t know them)…. Because of the DWI and the kids, dept of social services DSS was called in.

The issue is, despite his job ($60k+ per yr; rather good for the locality) they’re always tight. Continually needing my dads help with $ for this or that mess. She won’t work due to an ankle injury (I’ve seen it - and it is bad - and legit) but always refused to apply for any disability (“ it’s too much trouble “)… Dad is 82, has always been sort of an ‘establishment’ type guy, very moral, conservative etc etc. But he also has a soft spot for his wife’s son and wants him to straighten himself out, get cleaned up, act right and disassociate from lowlifes he runs with.
Upshot of it all now is, dad & stepmom have run down 60 miles to get the kids “for a few days” since DSS says they can’t be alone with their mom for the time being. and I’m seeing the sob stories coming already. My kid sister - very squared away career gal and the youngest of us 3 - sees it as i do, and we know dad’ll be worrying himself over THEIR dilemma. He professes to hate doing it but won’t quit. It’s kinda an OCD thing with him- straitening that guy out. He’s been trying to do it since the guy was 5 yrs old when dad married again and ‘adopted’ him. And it’s been a failure from day one.
So dad is soon to be out no telling how much $ for lawyers, mandatory substance abuse treatment, etc etc.
And me & my sis will likely end up calling local DSS to get the kids out of my elderly dad’s house (they are in no way set up for extended stay for these 6, 10 & 12 yr olds).

Anywho….we are going to try to limit dad’s involvement with this long-built-up dam that finally burst.
I’m going to use that little poster when I talk to dad. He needs to see that those two AGE 50 & 40 ADULTS need to work their own issues. Period. I don’t mean any harm to those two, but getting bailed out of everything at that age smacks of elder abuse. Or whatever it’s called 🤨.
Hard to teach an 80 yr old dog new tricks, though. 😖

Sorry to vent, but here’s as good a place as any I guess.
See pic of wreck. View attachment 23905
Click to expand...
You know TW you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink take care of your self you just need back it off sometimes
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top