Two trees lived in a forest, a Birch tree and a Beech tree. One day a sapling sprung up between them and they started to argue:
Was it a Son of a Birch? Or a Son of a Beech?
The Birch exclaimed, “It’s a Son of a Birch!”
But the Beech insisted, “It’s a Son of a Beech!”
Back and forth they argued. Son of a Birch! Son of a Beech! Son of a Birch! Son of a Beech!
One day a woodpecker flew by. The trees thought, “Let’s ask an expert.”
“Mr. Woodpecker,” they pleaded, “can you tell us: Is it a Son of a Birch or a Son of a Beech?”
The woodpecker replied, “I’ll do it!” He started pecking on the sapling. “Wow! This is amazing!” he exclaimed. He pecked some more. “This is Wonderful!” he shouted. He pecked and pecked “This is terrific!” he screamed.
The trees could stand it no longer. “Tell us!” they demanded, “Is it a Son of a Birch or a Son of a Beech?”
And the woodpecker replied…
“It’s neither. It’s the best piece of Ash I’ve had my pecker in all week!”
My bad - I just couldn't help myself.