JOKES!!!!!
- Thread starter TEXASforLIFE
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TEXASforLIFE
SAINT
Can't let my wife see this 1!
PepperGuy
Elite
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class,
"And what do you think that farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said,
"I think he said: 'Holy ****! A talking chicken!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
"And what do you think that farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said,
"I think he said: 'Holy ****! A talking chicken!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
PepperGuy
Elite
AN IRISHMAN'S FIRST DRINK WITH HIS SON
I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came
flooding back to the time I took my son out for his first drink. Off we went to
the corner bar. I got us two Guinness Stouts. He didn't like his – so I drank both.
Then I got two Old Styles. He didn't like it either, so again, I drank both. It was
the same with the Coors and the Bud. By the time we got down to the Irish
whiskey ... I was so drunk, I could hardly push his stroller back home.
I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came
flooding back to the time I took my son out for his first drink. Off we went to
the corner bar. I got us two Guinness Stouts. He didn't like his – so I drank both.
Then I got two Old Styles. He didn't like it either, so again, I drank both. It was
the same with the Coors and the Bud. By the time we got down to the Irish
whiskey ... I was so drunk, I could hardly push his stroller back home.
PepperGuy
Elite
MATH LESSONS
A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine.."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.
A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine.."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.
Looks sorta like Naples, Italy.......not that I've ever been down those alleys. 
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