JOKES!!!!!
- Thread starter TEXASforLIFE
- Start date
- Status
RandomHero
Custom
To be honest. I have had some Glock fan boys that say various things and speak negatively about my XDm's. And I always shut it down pretty easy. I pull out a $100 dollar bill and ask the Glock fan if he will put his money where his mouth is? And follow up with... Factory out of the box pistol to pistol. Let's run both pistols through various tests and see if your Glock or my XDm fails first! Like throw it in the dirt,kick dirt on top of it, submerge it in water, toss it in mud, and so on. I have challenged many Glock owners with this when they bad mouth my XDm's, and not a single Glock owner to date has won the $100 dollars. And most Glock owners find every excuse to not get there gun dirty and accept the challenge. Just saying...
RandomHero
Custom
OK here is one that's kind of silly.
Say "Sunshine City" 5 times really fast.
Say "Sunshine City" 5 times really fast.
TEXASforLIFE
SAINT
OMG, what can of worms did I open up. The crazies are coming out! Usually humor will keep you young, but I think I'm ageing! Keep them coming!!!!
RandomHero
Custom
....
RandomHero
Custom
So, what do you call a dog with no legs?
You can call it anything you want....
It ain't coming!
You can call it anything you want....
It ain't coming!
RandomHero
Custom
Why is 6 scared of 7?
Cause 7 ate 9.
Cause 7 ate 9.
SMSgtRod
Professional
Not saying for sure but maybe Glock owners have more respect for their firearm than to do all that to it. Before I'd do that to my Glocks I'd find something at a pawn shop to use in those environments.
SMSgtRod
Professional
A man parachuted out of an airplane and his chute did not open. As he headed for almost certain death, he saw a man coming up toward him through the air from the ground. As the man zoomed by, the man headed down asked, “Do you know anything about parachutes?” The man replied in passing, “No, you know anything about gas stoves?
RandomHero
Custom
I want to be clear. I think Glock makes a great firearm. And so do other manufacturer's. As in my post, I only bring this up when I run into those that believe Glock is the only good gun out there. And though many don't want to get their gun dirty with sand, water, mud and so on, if they have that much faith in their gun to boast Glock is the superior pistol then they should be willing to get it a little dirty. As we all know every weapon has it's breaking point. However my XDm's have proven to me on numerous occasions to be the more reliable pistols when exposed to the above materials. I in no way have anything bad to say about any one's personal choice of a firearm, I am just glad they own one. The dialog mentioned above is strictly reserved for the tunnel visioned individuals that can't see any other quality pistol other than Glock.Not saying for sure but maybe Glock owners have more respect for their firearm than to do all that to it. Before I'd do that to my Glocks I'd find something at a pawn shop to use in those environments.
Susquash
Master Class
Rarely had problems with academy students with Glocks. Can not say the same for other brand name semi-autos. Students put about 1000 rounds through weapons by the time they completed firearms training.
Susquash
Master Class
A Western guide was asked by an Eastern Hunter packing a huge 44 Magnum what caliber handgun he was packing for bear protection. The guide informed him it was a .22. The Hunter was puzzled and said that will not stop a grizzly. Nope the guide replied but if I shoot you in the leg, I do not have to worry about the bear chasing me. 
A Western guide was asked by an Eastern Hunter packing a huge 44 Magnum what caliber handgun he was packing for bear protection. The guide informed him it was a .22. The Hunter was puzzled and said that will not stop a grizzly. Nope the guide replied but if I shoot you in the leg, I do not have to worry about the bear chasing me.
I already told that one.... well it was in the bear thread and all but still ....
Susquash
Master Class
Heard it first probably 25 years ago.I already told that one.... well it was in the bear thread and all but still ....
SMSgtRod
Professional
He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine.
Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed.
Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas.
"You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now." Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.
The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."
Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed.
Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas.
"You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now." Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.
The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."
SMSgtRod
Professional
One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:
"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"
The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."
"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"
So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.
The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :
"Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:
"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"
The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."
"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"
So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.
The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :
"Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."
- Status