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Darwin Award Nominations
Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]:
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend’s windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2: [ Kalamazoo Gazette]:
James Burns, 34, a mechanic of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway
while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."
Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]: Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto ]: Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors
to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association. A person has to wonder what the dimmer members of this law firm are like.
Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]: Michael Anderson Godwin had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]: A Dunkirk, IN man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle-loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face,
sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a .54 caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]: A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. "Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred," said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.
THE WINNER! [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]: Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday.
Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock , were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole 's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out.
As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber rounds or cartridges from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting a round, the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the round apparently overheated, discharged and the bullet of the round struck Poole in the testicles.
The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead," stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me.
I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Poole's wife Lavinia asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck.
Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]:
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend’s windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2: [ Kalamazoo Gazette]:
James Burns, 34, a mechanic of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway
while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."
Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]: Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto ]: Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors
to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association. A person has to wonder what the dimmer members of this law firm are like.
Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]: Michael Anderson Godwin had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]: A Dunkirk, IN man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle-loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face,
sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a .54 caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]: A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. "Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred," said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.
THE WINNER! [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]: Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday.
Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock , were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole 's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out.
As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber rounds or cartridges from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting a round, the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the round apparently overheated, discharged and the bullet of the round struck Poole in the testicles.
The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead," stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me.
I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Poole's wife Lavinia asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck.
TEXASforLIFE
SAINT
Looks like places in Oklahoma I've been!
SMSgtRod
Professional
Two Texans Die Trying
2019 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin
(24 May 2019, Louisiana) Like ill-fated Madame Curie, may their experiment be a warning to you, my friend. South of Lake Charles, Black Bayou Drawbridge was CLOSED to cars and OPEN to boats. Evidentially this was an irresistible Friday Night challenge to Texas Man (32) and Texas Man Two (aged 23).
The Chevy Cruze stopped on Black Bayou Bridge, and a Texas Man emerged and PUSHED UP the safety gate for the DRAWBRIDGE !!! His second mistake was to JUMP BACK IN as the driver accelerated rapidly up the open drawbridge ramp, thinking, "Shoot the gap!"
You cannot live long if the road's IQ is higher than your own. In this IQ test, our Double Darwin winners failed; indeed they set a new low. Because these Texas Men--unlike the Blues Brothers--lacked "Cop Tires. Cop Engine. Cop Suspension, and a Mission From God."
A witness observed a passenger emerge and push up the arm of the safety gate, then get back in while the driver backed up a bit and accelerated hard over the dra-bridge edge. Over the bridge and through the waves, our DOUBLE DARWIN WINNERS paved new ground, and demonstrating a new "dead end" leading off the path of evolution.
The Shoot-The-Gap tragedy happened at 2AM. The car sank from sight, and it was no easy task to locate the wreck. Louisiana state police divers eventually located and lifted the vehicle with pontoons and recovered two drowned bodies from the Black Bayou. Identities are identified in this CNN News article.
Double Darwin - a twofer! Take heed, and practice patience on the drawbridges of life.
2019 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin
The Chevy Cruze stopped on Black Bayou Bridge, and a Texas Man emerged and PUSHED UP the safety gate for the DRAWBRIDGE !!! His second mistake was to JUMP BACK IN as the driver accelerated rapidly up the open drawbridge ramp, thinking, "Shoot the gap!"
You cannot live long if the road's IQ is higher than your own. In this IQ test, our Double Darwin winners failed; indeed they set a new low. Because these Texas Men--unlike the Blues Brothers--lacked "Cop Tires. Cop Engine. Cop Suspension, and a Mission From God."
A witness observed a passenger emerge and push up the arm of the safety gate, then get back in while the driver backed up a bit and accelerated hard over the dra-bridge edge. Over the bridge and through the waves, our DOUBLE DARWIN WINNERS paved new ground, and demonstrating a new "dead end" leading off the path of evolution.
The Shoot-The-Gap tragedy happened at 2AM. The car sank from sight, and it was no easy task to locate the wreck. Louisiana state police divers eventually located and lifted the vehicle with pontoons and recovered two drowned bodies from the Black Bayou. Identities are identified in this CNN News article.
Double Darwin - a twofer! Take heed, and practice patience on the drawbridges of life.
SMSgtRod
Professional
Pilot Patrick's In-Flight Shower
2019 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin
(14 October 2015, Montana) The United States is a sizeable chunk of continental crust, yet people do purchase planes on the opposite coast because flying home is easy compared to driving. Just hop airports, refueling at each hop, until you arrive at your home airport.
Pilot Patrick, 52, was up to the task of hopping his new plane home. Licensed to fly commercial aircraft, Patrick had 10,000 hours of flight time and an instructor certificate. But during the first two take-off climbs, aviation fuel (100-octane gas) had entered the cockpit and sloshed around his feet!
At the third airport in Missoula, the pilot called a mechanic familiar with the airplane, and discussed the issue of the fuel leakage, The pilot told this mechanic that he had someone inspect the fuel system, and they did not find anything wrong. The mechanic however wasn't buying it. Reasonably enough, he or she recommended NOT FLYING until the issue--a fuel venting problem--was resolved.
But did the pilot listen? Sometimes familiarity breeds contempt. This experienced pilot overruled the mechanic's recommendation and said he would fly the plane anyway, but as a concession to safety he would fly with the electrical system offline. This is referred to as flying 'in the dark' with no instruments. Patrick's decision is especially baffling because the aircraft was newly purchased and its trustworthiness not yet established.
To put the situation in plain English: During every takeoff the cockpit got a shower of aviation fuel, yet Patrick had to ask if that was bad. Told in no uncertain terms to STOP FLYING THE AIRCRAFT. his response was, essentially, "I got this." And that chap who supposedly checked the fuel system? Invented. A ruse, to convince the mechanic all was well.
Subsequently the aircraft took off from Missoula International Airport but made a sudden swift turn and crashed, exploding into a fireball. The NTSB report states, "The pilot was [likely] distracted by fuel entering the cockpit and failed to maintain adequate airspeed as he returned to the airport to rectify the [fuel] problem resulting in an aerodynamic stall/spin."
Full of experience, empty of common sense, Darwin Award Winner for good and sufficient cause: Pilot Patrick! We salute you.
2019 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin
Pilot Patrick, 52, was up to the task of hopping his new plane home. Licensed to fly commercial aircraft, Patrick had 10,000 hours of flight time and an instructor certificate. But during the first two take-off climbs, aviation fuel (100-octane gas) had entered the cockpit and sloshed around his feet!
At the third airport in Missoula, the pilot called a mechanic familiar with the airplane, and discussed the issue of the fuel leakage, The pilot told this mechanic that he had someone inspect the fuel system, and they did not find anything wrong. The mechanic however wasn't buying it. Reasonably enough, he or she recommended NOT FLYING until the issue--a fuel venting problem--was resolved.
But did the pilot listen? Sometimes familiarity breeds contempt. This experienced pilot overruled the mechanic's recommendation and said he would fly the plane anyway, but as a concession to safety he would fly with the electrical system offline. This is referred to as flying 'in the dark' with no instruments. Patrick's decision is especially baffling because the aircraft was newly purchased and its trustworthiness not yet established.
To put the situation in plain English: During every takeoff the cockpit got a shower of aviation fuel, yet Patrick had to ask if that was bad. Told in no uncertain terms to STOP FLYING THE AIRCRAFT. his response was, essentially, "I got this." And that chap who supposedly checked the fuel system? Invented. A ruse, to convince the mechanic all was well.
Subsequently the aircraft took off from Missoula International Airport but made a sudden swift turn and crashed, exploding into a fireball. The NTSB report states, "The pilot was [likely] distracted by fuel entering the cockpit and failed to maintain adequate airspeed as he returned to the airport to rectify the [fuel] problem resulting in an aerodynamic stall/spin."
Full of experience, empty of common sense, Darwin Award Winner for good and sufficient cause: Pilot Patrick! We salute you.
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